Does a perfect pair has anything to do with good looks?

Good looks are definitely important because it opens the first door towards the heart, but there are other doors too. The other doors being- likes and dislikes, beliefs, value systems, life goals etc. All these doors are equally important. Yet if the first door is not open and others are, then it puts us in a state of dilemma. The basic need to feel attracted will still not be fulfilled, resulting into a greater chance that the mind will stray. Problem is only when we don’t have answers or logics to the question, “are looks important or not ?”

THE COMPLICATIONS

What is perfection ? have you ever seen perfection in terms of pain ?

If not, then just ask yourself- is perfection ever achievable ? Or, is perfection nothing but a state of mind? What is perfect for you, might not be perfect for the other. So this means if you strive hard to reach to a stage of perfection, someone else might find a fault in the whole approach.

Or what is perfect on one of your expectation might not be perfect on the other things. Many people weigh relationships in terms of tangible criterion of physical appearance. As a lot of philosophers said, “you will find what your mind wants to see”, so these people do find the partners as good looking as they expect. Still it does not give them the perfect relationships. And if good looks was the criteria for good relationships then all good looking people should not be parting ways.

So the question still remains “what to do?”

THE WAY

All the relationships start on attraction but eventually they sustain in the long run only if emotions are well managed from both the ends. It is important to feel the basic physical attraction in the initial phase, but the attraction will come only with the love, care and affection being wisely invested into the relationship.

As we remember the famous lines “beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder”. It means that attraction is not a passive state, it is an active state of getting attracted also. When we talk of physical attraction, it is always temporary and exists merely only at the initial phase, next being emotional attraction. Emotional attraction is an active state. While getting into a relationship, it is important to consciously remember and remind yourself that attraction needs to be created by loving the other. When we love, we genuinely take care of the other. Love is all about accepting and just loving without thinking anything else. Only this feeling of dedication can make the other love us and thereby making them loveable too. It is very important to relate to your partners emotions because it is 100% your relationship. And if the other is not relating to you, it means you have not helped the other to know how you feel and what your expectations are.

To be a perfect pair, you need to remember:

·         It is your relationship

·         It is your partner

·         It is your life

Being a perfect pair is an active state and u need to constantly work on the art of loving each other. It is important to ask your own self whether you are actually being genuine to your partner or not. Have you been genuine in understanding you partner, in comforting him/her to your best capacity and above all, have you accepted your partner completely.

Dr. Kamal Khurana

Marriage & Relationship therapist

The Counselling Institute.

Nuclear families: Bane or Boon ?

The husband has a job outside the home town and takes the wife and kids along. The family there on, lives as a nuclear unit, like the typical scenario of an age-old movie, where the hero feels relentless and yet moves out in search of a better, brighter future, hence, leaving the parents behind. But as we descend from the two sides of the coin, we have the liberty to take a pick. So lets encash on the same, with the concept of independent and ‘Zero Interference Couple Life’ seen in the last decade.

There are several spheres to the whole ‘arrangement’, which we often misconstrue, or overshadow with per-conceived notions. Let’s set foot on the neutral land, and closely look into the varied shades, one at a time.

ADVANTAGES

·         Autonomy

Living as a nuclear family unit comes with a very big advantage of capacity of taking autonomous decisions. The new couple might want to set up their home according to their own taste, ranging from curtains to furniture. It also gets autonomy in the way life has to be conducted. Examples being socialising, outgoings, guests, eating habits etc.

·         Availability of couple time

The nuclear family set-up offers much more couple time as there are no daily rituals of larger family connection. There are also lesser direct responsibilities to cater on.

·         Creative living

The new couple in a nuclear family also gets a chance to establish newer ways to conduct their lives.

They create their own rituals, customs and value systems in their family. They not only get to have healthy discussions, understand the know-hows and the stimulating conversations on the same, but also becomes an unknowing way of knowing each other better, with their pasts.

·         Interdependency creates better bond

Being interdependent brings a great deal of warmth and intimacy. The human psyche compels us to work with that one person, rely , trust and confide as that ‘better half’ as there is nobody else to depend on.

DISADVANTAGES

·         Lesser logistical support

The nuclear couple doesn’t have the other family members to support in basic household tasks like cooking, home maintenance, child care etc. A family member would have the needed ownership which a paid resource may have.

·         Loss of culture and values

Every joint family system passes the heritage of family values which are practiced since ages. All such core features get lost somewhere when people opt for nuclear family set-up.

·         Comparative loneliness

A couple in a nuclear family is seen as a separate isolated unit. More because in today’s times, the sky rocketing standard of living demand both couple to work for financial requirements. If either or both the partners do not have time and energy to mingle or go for family reunions, the couple slowly moves towards living a shell life. And isolation then leads to negative emotions, as human beings are social animals.

·         No immediate support in rocky phases

Amongst core advantages of the joint family set-up is immediate support in moments of emergency. Here in the nuclear set-up, there is very little possibility that they get a prevention intervention, unless the matter is really worse.

·         No access to life wisdom

While people are young, they misperceive the views of elders as orthodox. Still a lot of views of elders are a summary of their personal life experiences. Being away from elders deprive the recently married couples from getting benefitted from such great pieces of wisdom.

CREATING EXCEPTIONS

Having the right understanding is the key. Depending what is the critical requirement of a couple, they must decide for the option accordingly.

If a couple is well united and works on the principle of utmost trust and love, being in a  joint family set up can always be beneficial. But sometimes, mental blocks of even one of the two, can create differences. It is important to understand each other completely, impart awareness and follow the utmost rule of transparency. Majorly, if both the partners are able to establish autonomy in their respective families, there is least possibility of any suppression of interests.

In case the couple decides to live in a nuclear family set- up, and the right perception and connection is made with the larger families, a more fruitful bond is likely. Short and sweet reunions can be the best way to keep the family ties intact.

All the living species believe in group living, only because it is always advantageous. The only difference humans must remember is to realistically follow what works well for them, and assertively and lovingly help elders to understand and support them. And work towards keeping the objectivity of love in mind.

Dr. Kamal Khurana

Marriage & Relationship therapist

The Counselling Institute

INTENSIVE TRAINING WORKSHOP

Greetings from The Counselling Institute

We hereby open the registrations for the INTENSIVE TRAINING WORKSHOP on

“Substance Dependence - Diagnosis And Intervention” 

(Alcohol, Drugs, inhalants and any kind of addiction)

  Objectives of the Workshop:

·         Understanding substance dependence disorder

·         Causes of substance dependence

·         How do we get addicted

·         How to diagnose the dependence

·         Intervention

·         Individual therapy for the patient

·         Family therapy

Workshop will be concluded by:

·         Addressing the queries and questions

·         Convocation of the certificates

We have added topics based on our latest research & feedback from the participants.

The workshop is based on the concept of Multi - faculty training. Our trainers are practitioners from different fields of applied psychology such as:  School Counselors, Toddler Experts, NGO resources etc.

It will be an interactive workshop where you'll reap the benefit of practical experience rather than the theory.

Faculty:  Satjyot Gill (Psychologist, Psychotherapist and Trainer); Dr. Nishu Shukla (Relationship coach and Trainer)

Duration: 2 days (15^th &16^th December).

Timings: 10:00 a.m. to 04:00 p.m.

Venue: B 2/20, Safdarjung Enclave (near Mahindra car showroom), New Delhi.  

Registration Fee: Rs. 2400/-  (10% discount for students and group registrations). It includes handouts, tea and snacks.

Registrations before 10^th December will get 10% discount.

After and On-spot registration: Rs. 2400/-

So learn and understand the skills and techniques from practitioners and be effective in your respective fields.

Grab the opportunity to learn and explore!

                                                                                                           

--

Regards,

Tulika Bhandari

Psychologist

The Counselling Institute.

For registrations or any query -

Call Tulika at 011-26108134,35; +919810076659.

Or E-mail us at counselling@thecounsellinginstitute.in

To know more about us you can visit our website www.thecounsellinginstitute.in

Live-in Relationships

How we accepted them or are they still a taboo ?

Today life is moving at a fast pace where 2G became 3G and now 4G, 1 megapixel turned to 6 megapixels and now 12 megapixels. Similarly, there has been a great change in relationships. In 1980’s love marriages were a taboo and now our society is witnessing open relationships, one night stands and a lot more.

The concept of live-in relationships are those marriages where a couple lives 100% as a married couple and creates closeness but with no legal commitment. In terms of marriage, the concept of arranged marriages had a valid reason that people had a very sedentary life styles where not much of migration to different cities happened. People lived simple lives without much greed of earning big money like mads. Now the concepts got completely changed, the psyche of Indian family systems in the metros and big cities are changing on a very fast pace. Education explosion and globalized commerce brought people from different religions, caste closer. And this resulted in more acceptance to love marriages and love relationships before the marriage. But the idea of live-in relationships is still indigestible. Very small sub-set in the ultra modern and ultra rich class have given an open acceptance to live-in relationships.

However, live-in relationships are still not totally acceptable in our country. It is a practice which is deeply frowned on in our culture and might take another few decades before we are ready to accept it. Yet in the middle of all these dynamics of today’s relationships, the youth wants to go for live-in relationships are an opportunity to experience togetherness for all those who fear giving commitment. The objective behind inventing such a method was surely good i.e.- trying to understand compatibility before giving commitment. But this is away from reality. Love is more of a value or an attitude. To love is to accept the other and do the due to the other.

Despite exploring all this is not a bad idea until it has a definite time line of decision and also if they have the predecided boundaries. This generally is not observed and this is the only reason that most of the live-in relationships fail. One needs to learn to love and not fail to love. Failing is the easiest. The idea of live-in relationships will become a norm only if it is accepted by the masses. If couples in live-in relationships convert into successful marriages will bring the needed acceptance by our society.

At the same time, to make this possible, they need to have their definite and short period of exploration with the boundaries, which is a tough task. Thus they will continue to be immortal till they are not able to establish the needed credibility.

Dr. Kamal Khurana

Marriage & Relationship Therapist

The Counselling Institute.

ABOUT The Counselling Institute Team

About TCI

OUR VISION

To be the most trusted mentors in the field of enrichment and development of human life

OUR MISSION

To create a better world by developing more meaningful lives for everyone.
At THE COUNSELLING INSTITUTE,
we help you understand yourself in the right context, so you can develop meaningful life. We are the only super-specialized institute spread across India working in the field of counselling.
THE COUNSELLING INSTITUTE is managed today by a team of professionals trained in U.S., India, Australia and SAARC countries. The institute has successfully coached over 3000 clients and has a total experience of over 6000+ hours of face-to-face sessions and a proven track record in the field of Counseling !

THE COUNSELLING INSTITUTE is the country's largest provider of counselling support, Our suite of services includes personalized one-on-one counselling sessions for individuals and families, couples, children teenagers and also addiction. We also conduct public workshops.

OUR FOUNDERS

DR KAMAL KHURANA PhD Dr Kamal Khurana PhD

Dr Khurana is the founder of THE COUNSELLING INSTITUTE which is dedicated to provide people with skills for creating a positive and fulfilling life.
Dr Khurana has been working with clients (whom he calls friends) to develop life satisfaction for 10 years now. He works on the perception, assimilation and action model of counseling. His techniques helps people arrive at practical solutions to various problems in everyday life.

Dr Khurana had always had a vision of providing immediate and accurate and life changing counselling to people in every city across the nation. He coined out a perfect combination of many schools of psychotherapy, counseling and guidance to help people resolve and evolve. He has also been training many mental health professionals as the branch head and faculty for Institute for Psychotherapy and Management Sciences (IPMS), Mumbai. IPMS is a leading institute in India in the field of applied psychotherapy and behavioral sciences.
His areas of specialization include pre-marriage coaching, post-marriage therapy, relationship counseling, personal coaching and workshops on life enrichment.

DR NISHU SHUKLA PhD

Dr. Nishu Shukla is a trained counsellor having certification in the field of counselling and psychotherapy. She has an experience in the field of individual counselling and couple counselling. She started her counselling career by working closely with Schools, NGOs and Private Hospital. Finally Dr Nishu and Dr Khurana started practicing as co-therapists. Dr. Nishu Shukla has received special training in the area of counselling, psychotherapy and family counselling. Dr Nishu has actively worked on creating the base structure of therapy at THE COUNSELLING INSTITUTE.
Her role as a chief architect in the services platter for the clients has proved national level success for THE COUNSELLING INSTITUTE.
Her first hand experience with clients has not only polished her as a master therapist but also helped her in training the psychologists working at hundreds of TCI centres across the nation.

OUR PANELISTS

SATJYOT GILL

Satjyot is a practicing psychologist and psychotherapist, having years of experience in providing psychological intervention to the patient with different kinds of disorders and adjustment problems. For last few years she have been mostly working in addiction. Currently she is associated as a consultant for de-addiction counselling at THE COUNSELLING INSTITUTE.

Namrata Gupta

Namrata is a trained counselor & a consultant at TCI. She provides both couples and individual counseling. Her skills include assisting clients in improving communication skills, evaluating problem area, enhancing self esteem and realizing their own goals and implementing effective lasting solutions. Her clinical focus with individuals includes dealing with depression, anxiety, grief and loss and coping with life transitions such as separation and divorce. In her work with couples, she uses an emotionally focused approach for healing distressed relationships and restoring intimacy.

Exhibition Invitation ASTROLOGY

Acharya Dr. Richa K khurana
Consultation-  Vastu, Astrology, Tarot Reading, Past life Regression, Numerology,Reiki Healing, pranic Healing, Color therapy, Dream Analyser, Palmistry, Emotional Freedom Therapy EFT, Pedology.

Working Area---

Skymaar Healing Institute
Kingdom of Dreams- HOD
SUKNAM - A Spritual Heritage
Purple Alley
SkyMaar IT Solution Pvt Ltd.

3 -4 November At
Sundar nagar Diwali mela
4PM to 11PM
drrichakhurana@gmail.com
De Addiction counselling Marriage Counselling

Child/ Teenage Counselling

WORKSHOP ON INTRODUCTION TO THE COUNSELLING TECHNIQUE

 

Greetings from The Counselling Institute

 

We hereby open the registrations for the INTENSIVE TRAINING workshop on

 

INTRODUCTION TO THE COUNSELLING TECHNIQUES

 

The topics covered are :

• Understanding the concept of history taking :

ü  To form Diagnosis

ü  To Design Treatment Plan based on the Diagnosis

ü  Case Discussion

• Understanding counselling and its implementation:

ü  What is counselling and pillars of counselling

ü  What is the role of a counselor

ü  How to start the counselling process

ü  How to do goal setting

ü  How to empower the client to deal with situation

ü  How to start the change process and measure it

ü  How to help the client in dealing with the interim challenges

ü  How to help the client identify goal accomplishment

ü  How to terminate the Counselling process

ü  Case discussion

• Workshop will be concluded by:

ü  Addressing the queries and questions

ü  Convocation of the certificates

 

We have also added some more topics based on our latest research & feedback from students.

 

The workshop is based on the concept of Multi - faculty training. Our trainers are practitioners from different fields of applied psychology such as:  School Counselors, Toddler Experts, NGO resources etc.

It will be more like an interactive workshop where you'll get the benefit of real practical experience rather than only theory.

 

Faculty: Dr. Nishu Shukla (Relationship coach and Trainer); Satjyot Gill (Psychologist, Psychotherapist and Trainer).

 

Fees: Rs. 4,000/- for the whole workshop (10% discount for students and group registrations). It includes study material, tea and snacks.

Registrations before 5th October will get 10% discount.

After 5^th October and On-spot registration: Rs. 4000/-

 

Duration: 3 days (10 am to 2 pm) from 12^th to 14^th October, 2012.

Venue: B 2/20, Safdarjung Enclave (near Mahindra car showroom), New Delhi.

 

Don't miss the opportunity to learn the real skills from practitioners and be more effective in your respective fields.

 

 

--

Regards,

Tulika Bhandari

Psychologist

The Counselling Institute.

For registrations or any query -

Call Akansha-The Manager at 011-26108134,35; +919810076659.

Or E-mail us at counselling@thecounsellinginstitute.in

To know more about us you can visit our website www.thecounsellinginstitute.in